February 22, 2019

Fab Friday Female – Melissa

I would like to introduce you to my amazing friend, Melissa. She has such a sweet soul and such a positive outlook on life. Her ability to turn an extremely painful experience into something good is so incredibly inspiring. You’ll soon see why she is such a FABULOUS female!

How long have you been battling infertility?   

This question makes me smile. Isn’t it funny how we “decide” we are ready to start a family and then God shows you that He has a slightly different plan? Or at least a little different than what we had in mind. The end of March will mark eight years since we began our journey to start a family. All of the doctor visits, testing, MRIs, blood work, etc. started about a year in to the process to see if the Doctors could figure out what doesn’t work quite right in my body.

What made you decide to share your miscarriage with your social media following?

It was over seven years between us deciding to start a family and us getting pregnant with that little one. Throughout those seven years, I didn’t really talk about that journey to be a mama. I’m guessing a small part of me felt “broken”, but mostly it just didn’t feel like a very common topic to chat about. After we found out that we had lost our baby, I felt a big ol’ nudge that it was time to share. Each time I talk about losing that baby or our infertility journey, I pray big that another woman will be reminded that she is not alone. During one the hardest times, I think it’s so important that we support one another, love one another, and cheer each other on through it all. So I guess I share because it’s common and that’s not fair. It is part of the healing process for me, but truly from the bottom of my heart I hope that other women waiting to be mamas or other women who have lost their baby can gain a little strength from hearing my story.

Can you tell me about the significance of the emerald ring you wear on your hand?

I love that raw emerald ring so gosh darn much. Simply because of what it symbolizes. Our little baby was due in May, so I knew I wanted a piece of May with me everywhere. Emerald is May’s birthstone and puts a small smile on my face each time I look down.

How do you stay so optimistic after experiencing such heartbreak?

Oh gollies! Well, I’m definitely not always optimistic. When someone asks me how I’m doing after it all, I think the easiest way to describe it is simple. Most days are great, but some moments are very hard. Grief tends to hit (at least for me) in waves. It can be something as simple as decorating the Christmas tree or rearranging the room that would have been the nursery and the tears start flowing. I try to live life with oodles of gratitude and joy. Again, that doesn’t always happen, but it makes life a lot more exciting in my opinion. I truly believe that through all of this God has a plan. I’m not quite sure what that plan is, but I’m choosing to trust that it’ll be a great one. Plus, there are a lot of people going through a lot of yuck right now. I hope that I can continue to spread a little joy each day.

You described a time after your miscarriage where you found yourself walking the baby aisle of Target and that you pulled diapers and wipes from the shelf and put them into your cart. Can you describe that experience and how you ended up turning it into a positive one?

That moment still brings tears to my eyes, but also a smile to my face. It was close to Christmas time and we were told about some mamas that were needing some of the basic supplies for their babies. I couldn’t take my hurt and put it in front of those little ones, so we purchased just a few of the basic necessities. Truly, it was just a few things—not a big deal! That moment probably did more for me that day than it did for those mamas though. It was kind of a “you got this, Melissa” moment. I was able to walk down the aisle that I had gotten so excited to go down for so long and I cried. But I also healed just a smidge. I’ve found that one of the greatest ways for me to heal is to love on others and that’s exactly what I was able to do in that moment.

What is the Instagram hashtag #spreadingsomereckerjoy that you created all about?

This is oh so special to me! Every Wednesday, whether I share on Instagram or not, I try to do a little something extra to spread some joy. Wednesday marks another week further that I would have been in our pregnancy. I choose to believe that our baby’s legacy isn’t done yet. I want that little one to be remembered as someone who made a difference in the lives of others, even if none of us got to meet that babe. Whether it’s mailing out some joy notes, buying coffee for others, taking flowers to the Doctor that had to tell us there was no heartbeat, buying diapers for mamas in need, or simply complimenting someone in the store—I pray that each moment makes an impact on someone else. Our baby was nicknamed Recker as soon as I got pregnant. So that’s why Recker is tucked inside that hashtag. I pray that I will always remember to spread that Recker joy!

You say that making people happy is one of your biggest strengths but is also one of your biggest downfalls. What do you mean by this? 

Isn’t it crazy how one of our greatest strengths can also be one of our greatest downfalls? I loooooooove making others happy. I get so excited when I can make someone else smile or when I can make something simpler for them or do something that makes them thankful. It turns into a downfall though, when I am seeking their approval or compromise one of my needs simply so I can make them happy. It’s a fine line, but I think I am starting to find that harmony between the two.

DIY’s and decorating on a budget are two things you do so incredibly well. What has been your favorite project?

Why thank you oh so much! My favorite project changes quite often because I love to do the small projects! We are currently renting, so a lot of my DIYs have to be temporary. I think I’d have to say shiplap. I created a faux shiplap wall with a Sharpie paint pen in our bedroom and then used subflooring to create a shiplap wall above our fireplace. I love them both! It gives me oodles of joy when I can change a space in such a simple way, but yet it has such a big impact. There’s something very powerful about loving where you live—even if it’s a temporary home!

You talk about how much love you have for your family farm. What does it mean to you?

My family is my world! I love them oh so much, so the farm means a lot because it represents family. The farm is where I learned my work ethic and our one family rule of respect. It symbolizes hard work, determination, and trust. It’s a retreat—a place to go to be filled up. God’s creation is seen everywhere on the farm, so it’s a constant reminder of how good He is and forces you to take some time to be thankful. Plus it’s filled with cows which just so happen to be my favorite!

A Bible verse that speaks to you is “Endeavor to lead a quiet life, and work with your hands.” Why does this passage resonate with you so much?

To me, it’s a simple reminder to just do the work. Sometimes I feel the pressure that I put on myself to perform a certain way or to be sure that a certain number of people see whatever it is. This verse reminds me that God has given us all so many gosh darn amazing gifts and talents. I pray that I use mine in a big way—even if that means no one else notices. I believe that God will bless our efforts, but we have to do the work for Him to have it to bless.

  1. I just love Melissa so much! She is a beautiful soul and I love how she spreads so much joy everywhere she goes. Thank you so much for sharing this!

    • mama2pt0@gmail.com says:

      She truly is an inspiration! Her story grabbed my heart & makes me want to be a better person! Thank you so much for nominating her!

  2. Dena says:

    I just love Melissa so much simply because of everything listed above. Her heart for the Lord, her determination to chose joy in the pain and to spread that joy around and her outlook on life is such a beautiful and inspiring thing! There is not a person alive that deserves this more than Melissa ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for sharing her!! Beautiful post!!!

    • mama2pt0@gmail.com says:

      You are so right, Dena! She deserves to be recognized for all of the positive energy she puts into this world! She is amazing!

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